Sweet Charade
by Ellyrianna
Summary: She's always seen as the emotionless goth. He's always believed to be the property of an alien. Eventually, though, all masquerades come to an end. Robin/Raven.
1. I: Foundations of Stone

**: -** _Sweet_ _Charade_  
  
As soon as they had returned, Raven immediately picked up the book she had been reading and settled onto the couch, trying her best to ignore her overly-loud teammates. With another of Slade's minions vanquished, they were possibly even noisier than before, convinced that they had found a lead in permanently disabling their enemy. She didn't hold to such foolish ideas, and instead of joining in the tofu buffet that Beast Boy was preparing, she remained alone, completely unwilling to let this victory give her a false sense of hope.  
  
Nobody had noticed that she wasn't sitting around the breakfast nook like the rest of them were – well, at least not yet. This didn't bother her, because it gave her more time to try and leave them behind in meditation, even if she was supposed to be reading the book she was holding up. Cyborg had already started secretly chucking plates of tofu-crafted foods into a trashcan while Beast Boy hummed excitedly and set even more out, convinced that the reason for his creation's disappearance was that Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg finished the plates put out before.  
  
Starfire prodded a plate of tofu hamburgers experimentally, frowning at it and cocking her head as if trying to see something hidden beneath the surface. Robin was grinning beside her, his eyes unreadable behind the mask, but he didn't appear interested in the food. For a minute, as Raven observed this, she thought that something...happened. She didn't know what to call it, but she was purely convinced that something happened.  
  
After a few minutes of food delivery and, in return, food chuckery, something seemed to click in Robin that one of his teammates was missing. Raven would even go so far as to call it frantic as his eyes searched the biggest room (besides the basement) in the Titan Tower for her, since his hands gripped the edge of the table so hard that his knuckles showed through his green gloves. Then, having located her on the far end of the couch, he seemed to relax visibly.  
  
Raven immediately redirected her eyes back to the words in her book, not wanting to appear overly interested in the affairs of the celebratory lunch. She tried to ignore the sound of Robin's feet growing closer, tried to block it out with mental images of inside her meditation mirror, but when his feet were so close that they sounded as loud as her heart beating in her ears, she closed the book with a snap and turned to him just as he was about to put his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"What?" she asked in her no-tone voice, her eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance. Robin's hand, hovering in midair, quivered slightly.  
  
"Why don't you come and eat with us?" he offered with a smile, and changed his hand movement instead to offering to help her up off of the couch. She didn't see what good that would do, though, since he was standing behind it and she would have had to walk over it just to get to the breakfast nook anyway.  
  
She set the book down on the cushion next to her, folding her arms. Robin didn't lower his hand despite the obvious rejection. "I don't trust Beast Boy's cooking," she finally said, not meeting the unofficial leader's eyes. "I'm not exactly Queen Tofu, you know."  
  
Robin laughed, and she noted the way his unoccupied hand (the one that wasn't still extended to her) came to rest over his stomach. Then she frowned slightly, wondering why she'd notice that. "Yeah, I know," he agreed, finally lowering his hand to rest it on the back of rim of the couch. His fingers could have brushed her shoulder, then, and she scooted away from them. "But Cy's getting rid of it all, and eventually he'll run out of it and we'll get something real."  
  
Raven eyed him skeptically for a minute, weighing and measuring both choices. If she went over there, she'd have to at least pretend that she wasn't being entirely anti-social, but then again, if she stayed, that was being rude to her best friends. Also, he was standing right there, an encouraging smile on his face that she just didn't feel like seeing fall. Not today.  
  
She heaved a huge sigh of resignation. "Fine," she muttered, standing and levitating over the couch. Robin gave a jerky nod of his head, like his neck was on hinges, before going back to where Cyborg and Starfire were. Beast Boy seemed to be running out of options since all his tofu was disappearing, and Cyborg, dumping what looked like a tray of tofu pizza, had a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Robin took his customary seat next to Starfire, who, like iron filings to a magnet, immediately scooted closer to him.  
  
Raven opted for the last seat available, which was at the end of the bench. Technically she was sitting beside Robin, only she had managed to sit as far away from him as possible without falling off of the bench. He looked at her curiously, as if wondering for the first time why she was behaving like that, but Starfire abruptly seized his arm and pointed out the window.  
  
"That was fantastic!" she exclaimed, her green eyes wide.  
  
"What was?" Robin replied, turning to her, a flash of seriousness on his face.  
  
"A fish jumped out of the water," she began, and Robin, listening intently, leaned forward. "And flew." Her eyes grew large at the last statement, as if confiding something secret to him. One of Robin's eyes grew larger, and if the mask hadn't covered everything about his eyes, Raven knew he would have been raising an eyebrow.  
  
"That's...it? Star, you know that flying fish aren't uncommon," he said, crossing his arms dubiously. Starfire tapped her chin.  
  
"Yes, I know this," she said slowly, and twirled a lock of red hair coyly around one finger. Raven, who had been watching this whole exchange with something akin to exasperation on her face, didn't know that Starfire knew how to be coy. "But I still –"  
  
A pained cry came from the kitchen, causing Raven, Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg all to turn anxiously towards the door. Beast Boy's head appeared, tears streaking his green face.  
  
"We're out of tofu!" he wailed, covering his eyes with his hands. Everybody visibly relaxed, more for the fact that there was no chance they'd be forced into eating B.B.'s gross all-food-can-be-made-out-of-this substance, than that they were afraid something had happened to him.  
  
"Booya!" Cyborg said quietly, punching the air in triumph. Raven rolled her eyes and folded her arms while Robin gave him a high-five. Starfire merely looked puzzled.  
  
"We are not eating the disgusting white food that Beast Boy loves?" she asked confusedly. Robin shook his head in an emphatic 'no', and she clapped her hands together happily. "Yay!"  
  
"Now what?" Raven asked monotonously. Beast Boy walked back into the main room, his eyes huge and tear-filled and his arms hanging ape-like by his sides. Cyborg and Robin sat thinking for a minute, but suddenly, out of everybody, Raven answered her own question. "Pizza." One word, no emotion, huge fuss.  
  
"Pizza!" Cyborg shouted, jumping up and running for the door. "We're getting pizz-_a_!" Beast Boy, forgetting all about his lack of tofu, punched the air excitedly and tore out after the half-robot, yelling, "Wait for _me-e-e-e-e_!"  
  
Starfire and Robin looked questioningly at each other while Raven sat silently. After a few minutes of prolonged quietness, Star said, "I think I will retrieve the pizza with them. They must be kept under control, yes?" Robin nodded his agreement, and the alien girl clapped her hands happily and lifted into the air, speeding out after them and waving her arms to try and make them slow down. The mechanical doors closed with a hollow bang.  
  
A long time passed before Raven stood and went over to the door that everybody had left through a short time ago, fully prepared to go back to her room and meditate. With her hood down and her lavender hair brushing her chin, she didn't seem as foreboding, and that was probably what prompted Robin to run up and grab her shoulder.  
  
She froze, standing stock-still for several seconds before she slowly turned her head to look at him. Robin was all-serious with an added streak of concern hidden behind his mask. She looked pointedly down at his hand, but he didn't remove it.  
  
"You can talk to me," he said quietly, gesturing with his unoccupied hand. "I'll listen."  
  
Raven blinked once, her face expressionless. "Thanks for the heads-up," she said in a monotone before pulling away and leaving him standing alone in the huge, empty main room. As the doors closed behind her and Robin didn't follow, Raven couldn't help but lean back against them and run a hand down her face. "Why do I always do that?" she muttered to herself, and, for the first time in what felt like years, she felt truly angry at herself.

* * *

The first part of a five-chaptered, eventually Robin/Raven fic that I'm hoping will turn out good. I'm just finishing up another of my stories, so updates for this should come pretty fast, but since its so short, it doesn't really matter. I hope you'll stick with me and enjoy it.  
  
**--::** Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I don't own the title of the story, either. It's from a Goo Goo Dolls song called Hate This Place.  
  
Hold on, _dream away_  
You're my _sweet charade._


	2. II: Why So Silent?

: - _Sweet Charade_  
  
There had been very little to do for over five days now, something that worried the entire team. That meant that Slade was planning something huge, drastic, and that could possibly destroy the entire city. Not that any of this was new to the Teen Titans, of course; however, there was always an unspoken fear among them that maybe, somehow Slade had created something that even their powers could not take care of, and they would fail.  
  
Raven didn't respond to fear, as she had told Beast Boy once. In fact, she responded to virtually nothing, since her emotions were locked away safely so that she could control her powers. However, she knew that there was a bit of unease within her, that she shared this unvoiced emotion that all of her friends suffered from. She didn't enjoy admitting it, but after the affair with Control Freak and her mind going berserk, she had to tell herself, in the darkest corner of her room with her hood up and cloak gathered close around her, that yes, she did feel a sliver of anxiety about it.  
  
No one would show it, of course. Cyborg and Beast Boy went out to the movie store that they had once trashed one afternoon, leaving Starfire, Robin, and Raven alone in the main room of the Tower. Starfire was trying to play the boys' favorite racing game with Robin, who was beating her into the ground, but couldn't seem to manage the controls.  
  
"This button is not working!" she exclaimed, frustrated. She threw down the controller and folded her arms angrily. Robin paused the game and turned to her, picking up the controller and handing it back to her.  
  
"C'mon, Star, it's fine. You're doing great," he said encouragingly. Starfire looked at him suspiciously.  
  
"You are sure of this?" she asked, slowly uncrossing her arms and leaning towards him.  
  
"Positive," he affirmed, and she tentatively touched the control again. Just as Robin was settling back into his seat again and was going to resume playing the game, she put down the controller again and stood up.  
  
"No, I do not like this game. I do not think I will play; I will go and make us food from my planet to eat while we watch the movies," she said, sighing softly. Walking away into the kitchen, Robin shook his head and bent to turn off the game. His angle, however, allowed him to see Raven, who was reading silently on the other end of the couch.  
  
"Hey, Raven," he said, causing her to look up. He smiled softly and waved the controller in her direction. "Wanna play? B.B. and Cy are taking a long time, and I've got nothing to do otherwise; the radio's busted, and we've got no leads on Slade."  
  
Raven gave him a look that clearly meant she thought he'd gone mad.  
  
When he didn't respond to this, she elaborated.  
  
"No," she said simply, her deadpan voice carrying a note of finality. Robin seemed to notice this, because he shrugged in resignation and turned the game off, starting towards the door.  
  
"I'll be in my room then," he said, sounding a bit wistful to Raven's ears. Then again, she wasn't exactly very good at detecting emotions, so she could have imagined it.

* * *

"I can't concentrate when I have a _monkey constantly taking away my book_!" Raven said as loudly as she could – which wasn't very – down the door before slamming it and stalking across the roof. The movies had been fine, but when a sudden rainstorm had made volleyball on the roof impossible, they had started playing it inside – and had had the net blocking the door out into the hall. The only other option had been the roof, which she'd taken.  
  
Pulling her book out from the folds of her cloak, she muttered her incantation, which immediately covered the book in black and made the text white. With a firm guard over the rain, now, Raven crossed her legs and levitated into the air, turning the page and beginning where she had left off.  
  
She didn't get far, however, before she heard the quietly rasping hinges of the roof door open and close. She felt a shudder of anger race up her spine, but quickly suppressed it when the protective covering on her book winked out and then promptly burnt the pages. Now holding a pile of ash, Raven forced herself into a calm mindset and dropped the remains of her book.  
  
"What do you want, Robin?" she asked tonelessly. She had known it was him by his cadence – he walked swiftly but with a bit of a hesitance, his feet pausing a moment before meeting the floor – and by the ring of his metal soles on the roof.  
  
He stopped, and she detected uneasiness in his voice. "We've finished our game; the ball broke a window, so we sorta had to call it off. You can come back in now," he said, and she dropped silently back to the ground, turning slowly to meet him. He was holding a grey blanket in his gloved hands and was rubbing it uncertainly.  
  
"What's that for?" she dared to ask, starting towards the door, and not Robin. He followed, soon catching up and walking beside her. He offered it without meeting her eyes, which were uncharacteristically trained on him.  
  
"For you," he said, although it was more of a mumble than anything else. She stopped, pulling her hood down and raising an eyebrow. When he saw her confusion, he continued, "It's cold out here, and if you get sick, we'll be one short."  
  
She turned down the blanket by simply ignoring it and continuing towards the door, which she reached and pulled open. "Why are you acting like this?" she asked quietly, moving in and standing on the first step down. Robin looked at her and shifted uncomfortably.  
  
There was a long bout of silence between them before Robin finally said, "Practicality requires – "Raven's eyes hardened, and she didn't wait for an answer. She grabbed the doorknob and pulled, slamming it shut in Robin's face, before continuing her trek down the stairs. When she realized what she'd done, however, she stopped, her eyes widening.  
  
A lightning bulb that wasn't on cracked and fizzed above her for a minute before falling and breaking on the ground, the black that had covered it fading away.

* * *

Finally, a lead on Slade had been presented to them. Cinderblock was tearing up a street in an upper district of the city, and just as he was rushing out of the door of the main room, Robin realized that they were one Titan short.  
  
Digging his heels into the carpet, Robin stopped in his sprint, causing Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy all to slam into his back, sending him sprawling out into the hallway. The mechanical doors closed, and Robin had to kick them to make them open so that he could get back into the biggest room.  
  
"Where's Raven?" he asked, half angry at her for stalling them and half worried that something had happened to her – or that she had happened to her. After the way she'd behaved on the roof, he was unsure of how to treat her now, thinking that she might hate him now or something of the kind.  
  
"I went into her room a little while ago, and she wasn't there, but that weird mirror was on her bed. I guess she's in there," Beast Boy offered, shrugging. Robin fidgeted for a minute before reaching a decision.  
  
"You guys go on ahead. I'll get Raven and we'll catch you up, okay?" he said, not waiting for an answer before running out and turning down the hallway. He reached Raven's room and banged on the metal door, calling, "Raven! We've gotta go! Cinderblock's ripping the city up by the roots!" When he got no answer, he kicked hard on the door in an attempt to create enough noise to get through to her – but, of course, the door opened instead.  
  
Robin ran in, looking around and realizing that Beast Boy had been right. The mirror was on her bed, and the room was empty. Going over to the bed, he stood a full foot away from where the mirror was and cupped his hands around his mouth, shouting, "Raven! Get out here now! We've got to go!" Still he was left talking to himself, and he was about to try again when black shrouded his vision. When it cleared, Raven was standing there, adjusting her hood on her head, casting her face into shadow.  
  
"You don't have to scream," she replied in a monotone, seemingly gliding over to the door.

* * *

I decided to end it here for today because it was getting late and the fight I was writing was really lame. I'm can't remember how the Titans fared against Cinderblock in any of their fights, so I wasn't sure about damage and whatnot, so I just ended it. I probably won't have any fight scenes in this; its all romance and drama and whatnot.  
  
** --:: **Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I don't own the title of the first two chapters, either. Foundations of Stone is the opening song in The Two Towers, and Why So Silent? is from a Phantom of the Opera song.  
  
_Masquerade!_ Paper faces on parade  
_Masquerade!_ Hide your face  
So the world will never _find you..._


	3. III: Keep Up Your Facade

**:** - _Sweet Charade_  
  
An iridescent light appeared in Raven's hands, and she closed her eyes as it did so, allowing her mind to concentrate more fully when the world around her wasn't interfering. She already knew what she wanted to heal was right in front of her, so she merely stretched out her hands and touched them to his arm, allowing the light to seep into his skin and right the bone that had moved out of place. When she was satisfied, both inwardly and outwardly, she opened her eyes and drew her hands away before turning around and moving off in the direction of the couch, where a new copy of her book was waiting.  
  
"Thanks, Raven," she heard Robin say to her, but she didn't reply; she had already gotten the third degree about her healing ability from Beast Boy when those Hive brats had overtaken their tower.  
  
"Marvelous!" Starfire announced, clapping her hands once. Raven ignored her and continued around the couch, picking up her book and sitting down. "I did not know that you had mastery over the ability of curing broken body parts." Raven could almost hear Robin shake his head in agreement.  
  
"Yeah, neither did I," he said quietly, flexing his arm to see if it was, truly, as good as new. When he realized that it was, he thrust his fist in the air triumphantly and grinned. "This is great! Now we don't have to waste all of our time on bandages or whatever anymore; Raven can just take care of it!"  
  
Raven narrowed her eyes angrily in the shadows of her hood and spun around on the couch, trying to keep her anger in check. "I can only heal one person a day," she said in her normal monotone. "If you wanted to start like that, then if everybody had an injury that couldn't wait, it would take us five days to be ready to fight again. Don't throw out the bandages just yet," she added, turning around again.  
  
Robin sighed, crestfallen. "Well, it's still a useful power, at any rate," he muttered, and the creaking of the chair he was in said that he had gotten up. "I'm going to bed," he said, whether to Raven or Starfire the darkness-wielder wasn't sure. "I'm still kinda sore."  
  
The mechanical doors opened and Robin exited, leaving just Raven and Starfire in the same room. Raven, having no interest whatsoever in her book, set it down and stood, fully prepared to go back to her room as well. She wasn't up for meditating, in her mirror or anywhere else, but sleep did sound like a good idea; it was just past four in the morning. Cyborg was in the kitchen wrestling with Beast Boy, she noticed as she passed by, probably over tofu or some other vegetarian thing that Beast Boy insisted they keep in their.  
  
"Will you not stay up with me?" Starfire called after her, sprinting to the door and watching Raven disappear down the hallway that lead to her room. When she didn't answer, the alien sighed and turned back into the main room. "She does not wish to act like the friend with me," she sighed. "I think I will help Cyborg rid the kitchen of the terrible Beast Boy food."

* * *

"What is this?" Robin muttered, tugging at the black thing around his eyes. It held tightly, like a blindfold, only that he could see through it, sort of. It had to be some device of Slade's, or someone like Mad Mod, because he was sure that he had been asleep in his room in the tower when he opened his eyes and discovered, to his dismay, that something covered them.  
  
He tried to stand up from his bed, but realized that he was already standing. That was strange. He could see through the blindfold, kind of, but he felt like it took something away from him as well. He didn't know what was going on and felt a little light headed, as if he was hanging upside down for a period of time. His feet appeared to know where they were going even if his mind didn't, so he let them take him into the center of what looked like a large room to his eyes. He didn't recognize it; if he had to compare it to anything, he would have picked a ballroom from the movies that they'd seen. But that couldn't be right.  
  
Someone came over to him, but he didn't know who. It was a girl, but that was about all he could tell. Screwing up his face angrily, he tried again to pull off the blindfold, but yet again it didn't work. He knew that that was what was keeping his memories away from him, but if it didn't want to budge, what was he going to do? He had to find the other Titans...or something like that...  
  
However, the only thing on his mind at that moment was the girl in front of him. She didn't appear any older or younger than him, with...hair...and attire that suited the room they were in. He couldn't put the name of a color to anything, even if he knew he knew them, and all of his rational thoughts were slipping away through his fingers. A question kept crowding his mind, and, finally, he asked it.  
  
"Would you like to dance?" he blurted, offering one hand. She took it, but the smile he'd expected on her face didn't appear.  
  
"This is pointless," she replied, but put her hands on his shoulders anyway, taking the perfect form. Robin didn't know how he actually knew to dance – the only experience he had was when he and...some other girl... had sort of rocked back and forth on a boat together. He didn't understand that, come to think of it; why had he done that? This girl seemed so much more mature than the other one – or maybe it was the same one? He couldn't tell.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked, following her lead as she moved rather gracefully through the steps of what he could only assume was a complicated waltz. Lilting music was playing somewhere behind him, but he couldn't pinpoint a tune; when he looked around, they were the only two people in that enormous room. But it hadn't been that way when he arrived...had it?  
  
"You know who I am," she replied, a touch of annoyance in her voice. He knew that voice, and knew her face, but that ridiculous blindfold kept what he so desperately wanted to know from him. "And I know who you are," she added, as if prodding him to announce her name.  
  
"Who am I?" he asked quietly. He knew who he was, but shouldn't she? She didn't have a blindfold on, though, and so he wouldn't be surprised if she did know.  
  
She rolled her eyes, which were an interesting color, if he could remember what color to call them. "You're Robin," she told him in a strangely flat, emotionless voice. His eyes widened beneath the blindfold, which caused the material to loosen and fall from around his masked eyes and hanging about his neck.  
  
"You're –"

* * *

"—Raven!" he exclaimed triumphantly, shooting up in his bed. Robin blinked. Bed? What bed? Slade had been playing a trick on them, had imprisoned their memories in a blindfold, had... He took a deep breath, understanding, and felt stupidity filter through him. "Dream," he whispered, throwing aside the blanket. "It was a dream."  
  
He got up and pushed open his door, immediately turning down a corridor and jogging to the first door he saw. He pounded on it, and sighed inwardly when Beast Boy answered it, not Starfire...or Raven, for that matter.  
  
"You haven't had any weird dreams, have you?" Robin pressed, taking on the assertive leader position. Beast Boy rubbed one eye and didn't appear to notice the drool rolling down his chin.  
  
"Nuh-uh," he agreed sleepily, leaning against the doorpost. "Just the fan girls, back for another round like...always..." The shifter fell asleep where he was standing, his eyes closed and body limp against the door. Robin left him and started back to his own room, trying to brush off any lingering effects the dream had on him. Why had he dreamt of something like that? Why would Raven –  
  
"Robin?"  
  
He jumped and had his retracting pipe halfway open when he realized that it was just Raven. Just Raven – what a creepy thought.  
  
"Y-yes?" he stammered, fitting the pipe back into a compartment on his belt. He folded his arms casually, but Raven raised one eyebrow, and he sighed and let his arms hang at his sides. Her cloak wasn't on, strangely enough, and he found it interesting that she didn't sleep in it; she was always ready to go if a late-night distress call came through.  
  
"What are you doing banging on doors this early?" she asked, not exactly suspiciously. He shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
"I just had a weird dream, and wanted to know if anyone else had one so I could see if it was something done by Slade or another potential villain. But from what I understand from Beast Boy, it's just a weird dream, nothing to it," he explained. She crossed her arms.  
  
"Oh."  
  
She turned around and started walking away, but Robin jogged to her and grabbed her shoulder, turning her around to face him. "Did you have any weird dreams?" he asked. Maybe if she had had the same one, or something similar to it...  
  
"No," she replied tonelessly. He nodded, accepting his defeat.  
  
"Oh. Okay," he said, turning and going back to his room. She went in the opposite direction, leaving him standing before his door. He leaned back against it, folding his arms and mulling things over in his mind. "They say that dreams reflect your innermost desires, right?" he asked himself, trying to figure things out. "Well...why would I dream about dancing with Raven, and not Starfire? She's the one I...right? Right?"

* * *

That dance/dream thing was so cliché it's not even funny. But that Date with Destiny episode made me angry because Robin should be with Raven, not Starfire, so I made my own rendition of it. This is only going to be five chapters long, so since this is the third, I guess it's about halfway through; only two more after this. There won't be any Raven/Robin action in the next chapter, but in the last, I assure you there will be.  
  
**--::** Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I do own the title of this chapter, though, so I've conquered that, at least. But the lyrics down here are something I don't own. They're from Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera. I thought they suited Raven, at any rate.  
  
Turn your face away from the garish _light of day_  
Turn your thoughts away from cold, _unfeeling light_


	4. IV: Don't Make Me Blue

**: -** _Sweet Charade_  
  
"Robin? Is something wrong?" Starfire gripped his arm, her green eyes glowing worriedly. Robin, surprised by this action, ripped himself out of her grasp, causing her to draw back in fear. He sighed, lacing his fingers into his spiky black hair. What was wrong with him? Ever since two nights ago he'd been acting as jumpy as Cyborg when Beast Boy made breakfast: unsure what dish was tofu and what wasn't, everything had to be tested and weighed before any real decisions could be made. That was what he was trying to do, but it was hard to test someone who rarely spoke to you in the first place.  
  
"Nothing's wrong, Star," he assured her half-heartedly, but he wasn't looking at the alien; in fact, his eyes were trained on the floor as he attempted to sort out what was going on. The weird dream, the way he had been behaving, the discovery that Raven had healing powers that Beast Boy had known about yet never shared...everything seemed to be leading up to one conclusion, which was the exact one he hadn't wanted to have.  
  
He didn't love Starfire, like everyone believed. He didn't love Starfire, like she believed. He didn't love Starfire, like he believed.  
  
Love wasn't a word he wanted to use on this emotion, but he found that it was the only way he could label what he felt. He didn't want to say he loved Raven, because loving Raven would be like loving a block of wood. But how else could he describe the way he felt? It sounded corny even to his ears to hear himself think it, but he knew that it was the only way he could possibly define it.  
  
"Starfire?" he asked, looking up at her. The alien nodded happily, her eyes shining. "Could I talk to you...outside?" It felt strange to know that you had to break up with someone you never truly went out with.  
  
"Yes, of course," she replied, still with a happy expression on her face. She went out of the main room first and into the hall, leaving Robin behind. It was late at night and they had taken care of a brief attack by Gizmo, Jinx, and Mammoth that morning, so most everyone was asleep – Beast Boy was curled up on the couch, Raven was meditating in front of the windows, and Cyborg was hugging the video game controller as he slept on the floor, his back up against the couch. Dreading what he had to do, Robin slowly got up and followed the alien outside and onto the rocks of Titan Island.  
  
Starfire was waiting for him when he arrived, hovering a few inches above the ground with her hands clasped at her waist. She looked beautiful in the moonlight to him, but her beauty seemed just a bit superficial to him at that moment, a little bit overdone.  
  
"Star...we have to end this," he said after a long moment of silence. Starfire's brow knitted and she lowered herself to the ground, obviously having been expecting better news.  
  
"I do not understand," she replied quietly, rubbing one arm.  
  
Robin took a deep breath before continuing. "Everybody thinks that we're together...that we're...Robin and Starfire, the perfect couple, the...I can't...Star, and it isn't true. It's not right. Everybody's wrong; the people on that ship, when we danced together at that moth guy's daughter's prom, they were wrong! I used to think that we were perfect for each other, but I realized...it was all an act."  
  
Starfire's eyes were huge and covered in a translucent sheen. Robin averted his own masked eyes, not wanting to see the result of his actions.  
  
"You...do not...?" she began, but couldn't finish as a sob welled in her throat. Robin turned, feeling heartless and cruel, and started back towards the Tower.  
  
Stopping for a minute, he said quietly over his shoulder to her, assured that she could hear it: "I care about you, Star, I really do. Just...not like that."

* * *

"Raven!"  
  
Beast Boy was banging on her door, she was sure; that was the only voice that accompanied that sort of pounding. He must have been in the form of an ox or a goat, because it sounded like hooves on the metal of her door. Levitating in the middle of the room, she ignored him, attempting vainly to get her powers back in control. Whenever she saw Robin now something inverted its colors in a sure sign that her powers were at work, and it either imploded, exploded, or did something obscene, like burp or something akin to it. She knew why this was, but couldn't allow this foreign emotion to overtake her senses. In the battle with the Hive agents the day before, she had hardly been able to reign in her powers enough to do nothing instead of making things worse.  
  
"Go away," she told him in her no-tone voice, but he couldn't hear her over his beating of her door.  
  
"Come _out_, Raven! C'mon, we're going out for pizza!" B.B. refused to give it up, and so Raven decided to do a test. Carefully draining herself of all emotions, she let a snake of blackness trickle out from her mind and open the door. Beast Boy fell through and onto her carpet, his form returning to that of a green teenager as he twitched. "Y'didn't need to do that," he mumbled brokenly, his teeth buried in the fibers of her carpet.  
  
"Leave me alone," she told him firmly, dropping out of her levitation spell and lowering her hood. She walked over to him and stood there, her eyes narrowed angrily. The gem on her forehead seemed to stand out brighter as she exhibited the palest amount of annoyance.  
  
"But...the pizza..." Beast Boy tried to continue, but Raven muttered her incantation, and a moment later the shifter was trapped in a black hand and had been firmly deposited outside of her door. With a final push of her powers, the metal slid closed, and she walked back into the center of the room, rising once again on nothing but air.  
  
"Azarath...Metrion...Zin—"  
  
She was cut short as the door opened again, but when she rounded angrily on the person who had done it, Robin stood there, looking up at her helplessly. Shuddering and letting her powers drain back into her mind, she slowly dropped to the ground and stood in front of the unofficial leader.  
  
"What?" she asked, managing to keep the shakiness out of her voice.  
  
"Aren't you coming?" he countered, taking a step closer to her. She refused to swallow and show weakness, but it was hard having him just a few inches away from her. His hand seemed to shake as he extended it to her, finally resting it on her shoulder. She was shorter than him only by an inch or so, but to her it now seemed that he was hundreds of feet taller than her. She had no fear of horror movies or mutant candy – at least not a drastic fear – but this was one thing she could not cope with.  
  
"I can't come," she said in a rush, backing away from him and walking backwards to her dresser. Fumbling blindly behind her, she grabbed her meditation mirror and held it up in front of her. "I've got things to do."  
  
"Raven, wait!" Robin had just managed to say before she disappeared into the vortex of the mirror. He sighed dejectedly, hanging his arms in defeat. He had officially told Starfire that he didn't love her, but what about Raven, the one who he really felt something for?

* * *

"I've got a problem," Robin began, gesturing slightly towards Cyborg. The half-robot was washing the T-Car, whom he and Raven had repaired once. Maybe that was why Robin enjoyed leaning on it so much? He shook his head violently; no, that was just weird.  
  
"Shoot," Cyborg replied distractedly, using a brush to gently scrape grit out of a crack in the side mirror.  
  
"Okay, it goes like this. I sorta told Star that we weren't exactly made for each other, and so she's pissed off at me, but won't say it. She's just ignoring me and acting like I don't exist. But the truth is that Raven is the one who made me realize that Starfire and me just weren't working together, and so I found out sort of inadvertently that I really liked Raven all along, and –"He broke off and crossed his arms angrily, glaring at Cyborg.  
  
"Hey baby, how are you? Nice and clean, you look so pretty, my baby..." Cyborg was absently stroking the hood of the car and looking at it adoringly. Robin cleared his throat loudly, and Cyborg snapped out of his car-praising reverie and looked at him. "Now, what were you saying?"

* * *

"B.B., you're no help!" Robin shouted as he stormed out of the recreational room, crossing his arms angrily. When he had tried to explain the Starfire- Raven situation to the shifter, all Beast Boy had done was complain about how he had to go out and buy more tofu since Cyborg threw it all out the other day. Neither of his friends had listened to him, and now he felt that he had no one left to speak to.  
  
"Robin?"  
  
He cringed when Starfire's voice met his ears. He turned slowly to face her, standing with her head lowered slightly and eyes unreadable, and tried to think of something to say.  
  
"Cyborg told me that you are unable to solve a dilemma. Could I be of assistance?" she asked quietly. He rubbed one arm, thinking of a possible way to get out of this conversation. He knew that there was no way, and that he was virtually trapped.  
  
"Yeah...I guess," he finally conceded. Starfire allowed him the smallest of smiles.  
  
"And what is your dilemma?" she prodded. Robin inwardly screamed that she should leave him alone, that she was only walking into more hurt, but he had to answer. It was compelling.  
  
"I...can't seem to find a way to get Raven to let me talk to her for more than five seconds without disappearing or walking away," he eventually said. Starfire's eyes held blame and a slight hint of anger, but she said nothing about what she felt.  
  
"You must do something that is of interest to her, like the meditation or the reading or something of that kind," she advised. Robin nodded, slightly defeated. He knew that Raven and Starfire, as best friends, did similar things, and that was how the darkness-wielder had opened up to the alien.  
  
"Alright," he said, cracking a small smile. "Thanks a lot, Star." She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "You know..." he began, but she stopped him with a minute shake of her head.  
  
"It is alright," she whispered, slowly unlatching her hand from his. "I understand." With that, she turned and flew down the corridor, silent as a shadow.

* * *

Sorry for the delay. We have two computers – one that goes off at night and one that we use twenty-four seven. The 24 hour computer happened to be busted yesterday, so I did most of the chapter here and yesterday, but I didn't get to finish/post it because it got turned off. So here it is, on the non-malfunctioning computer. And if you haven't noticed, I have way too much fun with the italics at the ends of the chapter.   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I don't own the title of the chapter, either. It was an episode title in Wolf's Rain.  
  
Still the road keeps telling me to go _on  
_ Something is _pulling me_  
I feel the _gravity_ of it all... 


	5. V: Every End Has a Beginning

**: -**_ Sweet Charade_  
  
She could read his emotions. It was strange, not being able to determine what you felt and having the ability to nearly read the mind of another. She didn't have telekinesis, not in the slightest, but she could tell if someone was blatantly angry or upset, and the stronger the emotion, the more clearly she could read it. Closeness helped, as well as contact, and if she could tolerate the one she wanted to read more than others, their emotions became words in her head, like a book of what they were thinking. It wasn't their thoughts exactly, but more like waves of energy, of emotion, that became their own selves. Her natural abilities to crawl into someone's mind also helped in whatever this power was called, but she had always used it sparingly before. Now it overwhelmed her, resembling a tidal wave.  
  
Let down your mask let me see you I can't tell what you look like you won't open up please let me see what's happening I want to help I want to do something for you don't close up on me I'm only trying to help I'm only trying to make myself useful please tell me the truth for once for once let me see the true you...  
  
His expression said nothing of all this, of course. His face was as cold and perfect as untouched snow; he was undisturbed and untroubled on the outside, and yet turmoil was beating him to a bloody pulp on the inside. It wasn't really turmoil, Raven decided; it was more of a pleading, imploring kind of attitude, like you really wanted to look at the answers in the back of your textbook but your morals held you back. He wanted to flip through her until he found what he was looking for, but she was never willing to turn her own pages.  
  
"Raven?" Robin seemed confused. He played the part very well, tilting his head slightly and giving his unreadable eyes an almost caring gleam. She didn't want to think about what it meant if he wasn't pretending, if her hand on his arm was just her imagination, if he and Starfire were still 'meant to be' and he had not told her that destiny could laugh in your face just like every other person. "Is something wrong? You're shaking."  
  
She realized detachedly that her hand, resting on top of his glove, was quivering slightly. It seemed strange to her that she was touching him at all. Where were they? Why were they alone? The air tasted salty, she noted, so they must have been out on the training grounds of Titan Island. But then where was everyone else?  
  
"No," she began slowly, and found herself shocked that her voice was not emotionless at all. It felt scared in her own throat, and she knew he noticed too. He drew just an inch closer to her, and she felt her heart hammering her chest. She had felt something before – just two weeks before – and had felt it before then, months before, maybe even a year or two – the flicker that she couldn't name. She knew what it was, and was loathe to accept it. Did that prove that she completely could not control her own powers?  
  
A black robin was perched on one of the stationary targets a few feet behind the teenager named Robin. It chirped at her innocently, and the pairs of red eyes on either side of its head blinked almost cutely. Her own eyes widened. She'd seen something like this before – she hadn't acknowledged her fear of that stupid movie. She didn't do fear, and she knew it, but did she also not do love?  
  
"Are you alright? You seem really nervous about something," Robin pestered, turning the hand she held up and gripping her wrist. Her violet eyes shot down to where his fingers wrapped over her glove, and the movement of her head that accompanied it sent her hood flying backwards. She was visible to him, now; he could see her.  
  
Only he couldn't.  
  
It all seemed very strange to her then. Where were the other Titans, her friends, his friends? Were they back in the Tower, or getting food, or fighting another of Slade's minions? Why were they alone together? The questions seemed more irrelevant by the second to her as she realized her close proximity to him, how she could practically feel his breath on her face and the acute pressure that his fingers had on her wrist. If she didn't prove it true, that yes, she felt more than just friendship for someone she had always denied, something would happen similar to the events of when her fear had taken control of her. However, if she unleashed what she truly felt as well, would that cause an eruption as well?  
  
Robin didn't seem to care about such frivolities as the effects any intimate contact would have on her powers. Apparently she wasn't delusional that his eyes held more than just friendly concern, or that the night in the hallway he had looked upset that she hadn't shared his supposedly weird dream. Then his premature break-up with Starfire hadn't been a whim, and she had been seeing more of him lately than she ever had before...  
  
He seized the initiative, slowly bringing his free hand up to gently cup the back of her neck and moving even closer to her, something that would have had her backing away if it were even a day before. The hand that wasn't captured in his slowly came up to brush against his face, and he smiled hesitantly, the last formation of his lips before they came crashing down on her own. Her eyes popped all the same, even though she had expected it; she was sure that her heart had torn out of her skin, and the hand that had so confidently traced across his fair skin froze above his right shoulder, a bit of black energy already in the center of her palm.  
  
_I am in love._  
  
She admitted it to herself mentally so that she wouldn't have to back away from Robin, who seemed as natural filling her vision as the landscape of her mirror. Her eyes fluttered closed as she realized the stupidity of the thought.  
  
_If I wasn't in love, I wouldn't be in this position right now_.  
  
Raven and Robin. It seemed odd saying it to herself; Robin and Starfire had always been the natural course of events. Why now was it two Rs instead of one? She felt stupid for thinking this way, because she knew that it was her hormones wreaking havoc on her newly-unleashed emotions. And yet they were controlled, because she admitted it.  
  
When he pulled away from her after what seemed like a century, Raven felt as if someone had drained the happiness out of her. She let out a huge breath, her arms dropping limply to her sides, and her eyes opened and focused on the ground. Now she remembered: Beast Boy and Cyborg were in an online video game contest, and Starfire was providing them with enough junk food to keep them awake for the entire thirty-six hours that the contest was going on. The last time she had seen either the shifter or the half- robot, both of them had circles under their eyes (or eye) as dark as Robin's hair and had half-crazy smiles on their faces.  
  
"What was that?" Robin whispered, slowly lifting his hand from the back of her neck to run his fingers through her smooth, untangled hair. It felt strange, and she felt her breath catch slightly. She forced herself in a mental rendition of her chant ("Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos") as she attempted to once again gain control of her emotions.  
  
"A kiss," she deadpanned, and he laughed, a sound she cherished.  
  
"I realized that," he said, still chuckling. "What I mean is, since when do you and I...?" He broke off uneasily, pulling his hand effortlessly (and somewhat regretfully, she noticed) out of her hair and moving a few inches away. She shifted uncomfortably, turning her eyes away.  
  
"We've both been acting strangely lately," she began, never one to beat around the bush. "I've been...well, obsessing over you, for the past year or so, but I always thought it was a shot in the dark since there were " She left Starfire and her zany powers unsaid. "I just never thought it would work out – or that you...in the first place."  
  
Robin sighed, and several long minutes of silence passed between them. The tension was so tangible that Raven thought that she could have cut it with a knife. Finally Robin deigned to say something.  
  
"So what do we tell everyone? That we're in love and are gonna run away to the Bermuda Triangle to live happily ever after in a world of Caribbean, Slade-free bliss?" he asked, totally serious. She cracked the smallest of smiles, which made him smile in return.  
  
"I don't think we would get off that easy," she replied, looking towards the Tower. Robin rubbed a finger along his chin. It was foreign – extremely so – to be standing with a guy you just kissed and discussing what the forecast for the next Slade-invasion would be. It was even stranger to kiss him right off the bat without even realizing your feelings were reciprocated in the first place.  
  
"Well...wanna go for pizza instead?" he offered, shrugging. Raven's smile widened just a tad, and she crossed her arms, levitating slightly in the air.  
  
"Why not?" she asked. "It's a start."

* * *

Hmm. That had to be the suckiest ending/chapter in the history of the world. Plus the fact that it's mega-super late and nobody'll end up seeing it. Ah well. Just want to thank everyone who took the time out to review this piece of crap and that you all made it worth my while I was gonna trash this halfway through when I ran out of ideas, but you guys kept me going. (If that's why you think from chapter three on is crap, then that's why.) Hope you enjoyed it, and just remember:  
  
**Raven/Robin forever!!  
**  
--Ellyrianna 


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